- Immunity forever, from everything, including the common flu.
- Unlimited spray tans from Golden Tanning.
- Lifetime supply of organ transplants.
- Bring back Crystal Pepsi.
- The remaining members of Ghedafi's female bodyguard corps and his old Ukrainian nurse--nursing duty actually required. Those stool softeners are going to insert themselves.
- Most importantly, Herman Cain's old job as head of the National Restaurant Association.
|Herman Cain and Berlusconi would probably hit it off.|